andBut "I just want to be happy" is a hole cut out of the floor and covered with a rug. Because once you say it, the implication is that you're not.
There are things that do make me experience joy. But joy is a fleeting emotion, like a very long sneeze. A lot of the time what I feel is, interested. Or I feel melancholy. And I also frequently feel tenderness, annoyance, confusion, fear, hopelessness. It doesn't all add up to anything I would call happiness. But what I'm thinking is, is that so terrible?
Don't take my word for it. Go read it all here. More about Augusten Burroughs here.
|image from Paul Ekman, psychologist who pioneered studies of facial expression and emotion.|